Festivals Aren't Only For Normal People
by Oshura
Summary: When you're about to have fun, there must be something you need to do before you can enjoy it. And when you finish the things you need to do and get ready to enjoy the fun, things can take a turn for the bad side and spoil your effort.
1. There are Things To Do Before A Festival

I just started to get into Gintama about 2 or 3 weeks ago and decided to try writing a fic about it. I haven't finished reading to the latest chapter yet so I'm sorry if there's anything wrong with this fic. Maybe there are going to be some Japanese reference but I'll make sure to explain what they are.

Reviews are appreciated. And I'll deffinetly answer any questions you might have regarding the fic, so feel free to ask anything.

And so... Starting with a complete rip off...

* * *

**-O-**

* * *

" Eh? You want to know the strongest man in Kabukichou? Man, you must be new in town. You won't get anywhere with that kind of attitude. Forget it. This town's on a whole different level. You've got thugs, brawlers, vigilantes and rogue warriors all gathered up in one place. In short, its a heaven for hooligans. This is for your sake. Have a drink and go back to where you came from. I don't want to see anymore blood spill for today."

The barkeeper poured a drink for the man and put in on the table. He closed the lid of the bottle and faced the man back as another question was asked to him.

" You want to know about the big-shots before you go? I'm tellin' ya. You won't be able to land a hand on those guys. Well, the ones currently ruling the city are the new generation of four devas. First, there's Kenou Ago, replacing the Great and Demonic Mademoiselle Saigo. Kurogama no Katsuo, replacing Doromizu Jirouchou the Gallant. Queen of the Kabuki District Shimura tae, replacing Peacock Princess Kada. And NEET samurai Sakata Gintoki, replacing Empress Otose. These four are currently in a neutral relationship. Though their neutral relationship might be because of the super rookie which is currently ruling over Kabukichou."

The barkeeper remembered the war that happened in Kabukichou some time ago. That time, Saigo and Kada had joined up forces to take down Otose. But it seemed that Kada forced Saigo to come with her. Then Kada was taken out by Jirocho and one of the current four devas, Sakata Gintoki. It was a fierce battle, he wouldn't want to see something like that again. Especially when his shop was nearly destroyed by some shots fired of by some certain robots that were made by a certain old man.

" Who would be the strongest in a fight? Oy oy, you aren't planning to fight them are you? Well, the current lead of power would be Shimura Otae. She's just a carbaret girl actually, only with strength that could take even the strongest men. But if you're looking for an actual fight, I would suggest that guy. But he doesn't like to fight, really. He's just some lazy samurai running a Yorozuya. But when you try any funny business on that guy's property, you'll be sure to meet a demon clad in silver... NEET samurai, Sakata Gintoki."

* * *

**- 1. There Are Many Things To Do Before A Festival -**

* * *

" A festival?"

The least thing Gintoki would have wanted to expect in the morning was Shinpachi coming to the Yorozuya as always, but along with a certain female gorilla. It was 7am and he forcefully got woken up by a hit to the stomach when he was still sleeping And drolling on his futon (or floor since he had a habit to roll around in his sleep, which he did not appreciate since he would wake up tasting the coldness of the floor every morning). But that signature smile of hers just won't go away even though she does these physical harassment to almost every people who bothers her. And now they were leisurely talking at the sofa like nothing ever happened (Or like Gintoki never broke any of his ribs from the previous attack).

" Yes. Kabukichou hasn't been giving off a good impression lately, so we decided to have a festival in order to liven things up." She said, still smiling.

Gintoki didn't take any interest in her words and picked his nose. " So what exactly is a female gorilla doing early in the morning, talking to us about this festival?"

Not surprisingly, Otae flipped the table at Gintoki's face, making his nose receive a river of blood. She then pulled out something from her kimono and put it on the table that was strangely already back to normal. The Yorozuya looked at the paper curiously. " What is this, anego?"

" These are Pamphlets about the festival I want you to give to our neighbors. Gin-san is one of the leaders of Kabukichou, so I'm sure you don't want to ruin your image as the NEET samurai by not helping out in livening up the town." Otae explained.

" No, I'm sure his image has already been ruined by being called a NEET samurai." Shinpachi deadpanned.

Gintoki picked up the pamphlets and scratched his head. " Why am I the one that gets all the work? Are Agomi and that 7:3 guy even participating in this? They're also devas too, you know. Don't just push all of the work to Gin-san."

" Don't worry, Agomi-san and Katsuo-san are also helping out. They accepted to help out the moment I went to their place." She said with a creepy smile. No, he was sure she threatened them. That creepy aura behind her and that smile of success was enough proof for Gintoki that she literally tortured them until they said 'yes'.

" Gin-san will hand the pamphlets to the Northern part of Kabukichou. Agomi-san will do the Western part. Katsuo-san will do the Southern part and I will do the Eastern part. So all of us will get the same share of work and no one will be getting too much." She continued.

" So why is _Miss doing the work at the Eastern part_ doing here? Have you finished handing them out that early?"

" I already asked the other cabaret girls to hand them out for me. You're also free to ask help from Shin-chan and Kagura-chan."

... Figures.

And so they went out to hand the pamphlets out of fear of Otae. She already left the Yorozuya to take care of other business- but also not forgetting to give them some parting lines. They could feel shivers run up their spines as they remember her words.

_" If even one of the townspeople in the Northern part of the town doesn't get the pamphlet by today, don't hope you'll ever see the daylight ever again."_

Yeah, they're screwed.

First, they decided to hand the Pamphlet to their nearest neighbor, Otose. They went into the snack shop and saw Tama mopping the floor. Catherine was smoking on the sofa. Otose came out of her room just seconds after they entered.

" What are you doing here, perm head? Shop opens up at night. Go to some other place if you want to drink yourself out." She said.

Gintoki scratched his head. " Thats not it, granny. We're handing out pamphlets for the festival."

Tama took note of what Gintoki just said and faced Otose with a serious face. " Otose-sama!"

Otose nodded and went outside. Catherine and Tama also followed her with a frying pan and a stick. Otose took a big breath and-

" EVERYONE TAKE COVER! PREPARE FOR IMPACT! PLEASE EVACUATE CALMLY! WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!"

-Screamed on the top of her lungs to the people in Kabukichou. Tama and catherine were also making a rucsuc by hitting the frying pan with a stick, resulting in an ear-breaking noise coming from the direction of the snack shop. Some of the people even believed their words and quickly went into their homes to take cover.

Veins popped out of Gintoki's head. " STOP IT GRANNYYYYYY! ITS NOT LIKE WE WANTED TO DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! MORE IMPORTANTLY, JUST HOW BADLY DO YOU THINK OF ME?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO FALL?!"

-O-

" So Otae-sama asked Gintoki-sama to hand out pamphlets for the festival?"

They were back sitting at the snack shop after all the things that just happened. And after convincing Otose, Tama and Catherine that absolutely nothing was going to fall.

" No, she threatened us."

" If you want help, I can give something that will make your work easier, Gintoki-sama." Tama said.

Tama suddenly went into robot mode and stopped moving. After saying something like 'Commencing printing mode', her mouth became long enough to fit a whole flattened cardboard box. A paper came from her mouth and she gave it to Gintoki.

Gintoki looked at the piece of paper. " What is this? Why did this come out from your mouth? Its weird how robots don't have drools. Wait, what's this sticky thing on the paper?"

" Robots have unused oil in their mouth in exchange for drool, Gintoki-sama. Its a list of the people living in the northern part of Kabukichou along with their address. There are 112 people in total. I have also made a map of the Northern Kabukichou for easier reading." Tama explained.

" So then its like pee, isn't it? Eh? Where do you do it? Do you have a Ketsu no Ana as well?" And in exchange for that sentence, Otose threw a bottle of Sake at Gintoki.

" Thank you Tama-san! This will certainly be a big help!" Shinpachi said.

Gintoki scratched his head. " Lets get going. We'll want to finish this today or we'll get killed by that female Gorilla."

-O-

They went to the first place in the list and ended up in Tetsuko's place. They knocked the door and waited for it to open up. First time, no response. Second time, no response. Third time, still no response. Fourth time, Kagura prepared to punch the door open but was stopped by Shinpachi.

" Why is she not answering? Is she getting her brother's virus?" Gintoki said.

Kagura still struggled to get out of Shinpachi's grip as she tried to burst the door open. Gintoki did a fifth knocked on the door but still didn't get any response.

" Oooooooy! Is the poop-making swordsmith he-" Before he was able to finish his sentence, the door opened and a hammer landed a direct hit on his face. Earning him a river of blood on his nose for the second time in one day.

" Who're you calling a poop-making swordsmith?"

" Ah, Tetsuko-san! We came here to deliver some pamphlets. Its about the festival thats going to be held in Kabukichou." He said while giving Tetsuko the pamphlet.

" A festival? I'll be sure to show up then. Maybe I can sell some of my weapons in the festival."

" No, we'd rather not have any weapons being sold in a festival." Shinpachi deadpanned.

She nodded a 'goodbye' and closed the door. Gintoki scratched his head. " I got a nosebleed by giving one person a pamphlet. The only possible outcome of the day will be my nose disappearing from my face once we finish handing these pamphlets to all of the residents."

" Gin-san. Technically, that out come is impossible for even the unluckiest of the unluckiest."

" Who is the second person?" Kagura said as she looked at the list.

.  
.

" Excuse me."

They were at an alleyway in some street to find a certain cardboard-wearing sunglasses with a dog on a leash sitting while hugging his knees. Beside him, lied a stack of porn books which Kagura obliterated the second she saw it despite the sunglasses' screams of agony.

" So this guy is supposed to be the unluckiest of the unluckiest, yes?" Kagura pointed out.

" WHAT IS WITH THIS MAGICAL CONTINUATION?! WHY IS THE NEXT PERSON ON THE LIST THE REAL FORM OF THE JOKE FROM EARLIER?!"

Hasegawa replied (Even though he was kind of late in replying. His years of being in despair must have made his ears malfunction, he thought.) " Yes, please come in."

Gintoki kicked Hasegawa right in the butt. " 'Please come in' my ass. I don't see a door anywhere near here. What are you doing, living in this garbage dump? You're troubling the people who take their garbages out at night. They'll think you're a ghost or something!"

" Gin-chan, you asked me to accompany you when you took out the garbage last night, yes? Did you see him and thought he was a ghost?" Kagura pointed out.

Gintoki quickly defended himself. " No! It was nothing like that! I just though you would be lonely by yourself! There's no such thing as ghosts! Yes! There are no such things!"

Shinpachi sighed. " Besides that, Hasegawa-san. We hope you come to the festival that's going to be held." He said as he handed the pamphlet to Hasegawa.

" Nope, a festival won't be able to quench my despair.. Wait, maybe I can sell some of my stuff for money in the festival." He said as he thought about getting a load of money in the festival by selling his stuff (Which happened to be flattened cardboard boxes and banana peels).

" We don't need anything from a Madao, uh-huh."

And one hour later, they decided to split up the work for each of the members so they won't waste so much time. They decided to meet up three hours later at the Yorozuya to check on their progress. Shinpachi was having a bit of trouble handing the pamphlets as some of the Kabukichou residents seemed to have a serious case of depression.

" Um, excuse me. This is the Yorozuya. We're handing out pamphlets for the festival."

All he got for response was an eery sound that came from the other side of the door. " Why do you even bother? The world has no need for me. Even festivals will be better without someone like me to enjoy it."

Shinpachi sweatdropped. " W-Well then, I'll just leave it in your mailbox. Come and get it when you have the chance."

The eery voice appeared again. " Yes, watch as that piece of paper becomes something useless to the world like me. Left to cry in solitude as it abandons all its hope of living."

Shinpachi shivered at the person's words as he put the pamphlet in the mailbox. He then went downstairs with the thought that he had to call the police to watch out for any suicide attempts that was going to happen.

Gintoki wasn't really having trouble with any of it since he had a good relationship with almost all of the people in Kabukichou. It was easy for him to get them to open up their doors. But there was a bit of trouble with some of the people who certainly had some _trouble_ themselves.

" Excuse me, this is the Yorozuya."

A voice came from inside the house. " Yorozuya? Never heard of it. What do you want?"

Gintoki took no mind of the irritated tone and continued. " We're handing out pamphlets for the festival. Please open up your door."

" Heh, if you think you thugs can fool me to open up my doors with that kind of act, you're way of line. You'll never get your revenge on your pitiful friends!"

Gintoki got more irritated by the second. " I'm not a thug. Just open up the door and take the goddamn pamphlet."

" Give your best shot, fools. You still aren't gonna trick me!"

Veins popped out of Gintoki's head. " JUST OPEN UP THE FREAKING DOOR AND TAKE THIS GODDAMN PAMPHLET OR I'LL BASH DOWN YOUR DOOR AND RIP THAT PITIFUL MOUTH OF YOURS AND DROWN YOU IN THE FREAKING RIVER!"

Meanwhile, Kagura had the least trouble handing out the pamphlet. Every people she went to greeted her with kindness and took her pamphlet with open hands- Or at least, that's what she thinks they did.

" Excuse me~ This is the Yorozuya."

" What do you want little girl? Scram before I get angry." The person behind the door replied.

" We are handing out pamphlets for the festival, uh-huh. You can open up your door, yes?"

" I don't want no pamphlets. Now go away before I rip chop off your head."

The door was forcefully kicked by Kagura and it flattened the person standing behind the door. She then dropped a piece of pamphlet before walking out the door with a smile.

" Thanks for letting me in! Hope you enjoy the festival, uh-huh!"

And then, there were also some other trouble Gintoki encountered while visiting Gengai's place:

" Hey, why do I only get one pamphlet? There are other people here too, y'know."

" Oh, so now you're living with ghosts before you become a ghost yourself?" Gintoki said lazily.

" No. I mean give the pamphlets to Isaburou and the others. They also need to know what's going on."

" Old man, I'm pretty sure that 'junk metal' doesn't count as residents of Kabukichou."

Gengai sighed. " Just give me 10 pamphlets."

" Fine. But if I recieve complaints from a certain female gorilla, I'll be sure to tell her to destroy a certain storage house of a certain old man that wanted to get me killed by forcing me to give him some pamphlets to a group of garbage metals that is... Now about to hit me with a giant hammer- _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_"

Three hours later, the three of them met up at the Yorozuya and checked on their progress. Gintoki was all beat up and Shinpachi wondered why he could be in that state just by handing out pamphlets. Maybe he really will lose his nose by the end of the day. Kagura got the most progress out of all of them and Gintoki began to wonder if any residents will be demanding any repairment fees from him anytime soon. They got about half of their work done and decided to eat at a nearby cafe to fill their stomachs since it was time for lunch anyway. After they finished eating, the trio quickly prepared themselves since they had to get this done by today or their lives will flash infront of their eyes.

" So we will split this up like before, yes?" Kagura volunteered.

" Who's the next on your list, Gin-san?"

Gintoki scratched his head and looked at the list. " Eh? Should be number 53.."

Gintoki took sight of the name on the paper and his brain processed the information he just seen. He blinked once to ensure his eyes wasn't deceiving him, but nothing changed. Still not feeling satisfied with what his eyes were seeing, he rubbed his eyes until it was red, but still nothing changed.

" Gin-san... Number 53 is..."

_53. Takasugi Shinsuke_

**_" _E...E..._.EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!"_**

* * *

**-O-**

* * *

* NEET is a word for young people that are not in education, employment or training. In Gintoki's case, it would probably mean 'unemployed samurai'.

* 'Ketsu no Ana' means asshole. Yes, the king of sexual harassment does it again.

**Last updated 11/4/2014: **Just adding an 'opening scene' that is supposedly a complete rip off of Chin Pirako's first appearance. I don't have any talent after all...


	2. Even Terrorists Needs Breaks

**2. Even Terrorists Needs Breaks**

* * *

" Pattsuan, if we were to meet a deadly terrorist just because we were told to hand out pamphlets, what would be the outcome?"

" We'll be killed."

" If we were not to hand out the pamphlet to every resident in the Northern part of Kabukichou by today, what would be the outcome?"

" We'll be killed."

" And if we were to kill ourselves before we get killed, what would be the outcome?"

" What kind of question is that?"

Veins popped out of Gintoki's head. " DON'T GIVE ME THAT 'WE'LL BE KILLED' CRAP! WHY THE HELL AM I RISKING MY LIFE TO HAND OUT SOME GODDAMN PAMPHLET ABOUT A GODDAMN FESTIVAL TO A FRIGGIN TERRORIST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?! IS THIS A JOKE?! DOES SHE WAN'T ME TO DIE?!"

" Gin-chan is a scaredy cat, yes? He is you friend, is he not? Then you should be the one to give him the pamphlet." Kagura said as she chewed the Sukonbu she brought previously.

Gintoki pointed at Kagura." Ok, maybe in the past! But now we're in the worst possible situation to be seeing each othe- Wait, why the hell does he live here anyway?! Shouldn't he be flying on a ship with his other terrorist friends in outer space?! Its way too suspicious!"

" The fact that we're actually up on somebody else's roof, spying on his house makes us more suspicious than him. Gin-san, we're drawing attention." Shinpachi said as he looked down at the small crowd that gathered to look at what they were doing.

" Maybe he is just staying here for a while, yes? Even terrorists needs to have a vacation sometimes, no?" Kagura said.

" Well he chose the worst time to be taking a vacation! What do we do?! We need to give everyone the pamphlet or else we'll be killed by that female gorilla! But if he sees us, we're also dead! Every possible outcome is jack shit!" Gintoki said as he ruffled his hair.

" Ah, I know! How about we fool him with a disguise?" Shinpachi volunteered.

Kagura and Gintoki faced Shinpachi. " Pattsuan... You actually... Said something useful..."

" Excuse me, what is with that serious face? Just how useless do you expect me to be? Am I unneeded? Should I just die then?" Shinpachi deadpanned.

And with that, they decided to go to a costume shop for a disguise. They chose the disguise carefully, as they were talking about the leader of a dangerous terrorist group. The disguise they chose were epic nonsense and Shinpachi _tried_ to talk them out of it.

" How about this?"

" Too bland.."

" Ah, how about we add this?"

" Thats just weird."

" Ah! Maybe we can do this!"

" Hey, that seems good."

" And then add this here.."

" There! Done!"

They were wearing the exact same outfit they wore as a Shinsengumi mascot. A half-man half- horse with Shinpachi being the hind part. Kagura was on top of the horse, but not as a rider.. But as a corpse. If anyone saw this, they would think they just saw the final form of daylight murder walking out in the open streets.

Shinpachi cracked. " THERE IS NOTHING 'DONE' WITH THIS! WHY ARE WE USING THE SAME OUTFIT WE USED AS THE SHINSENGUMI MASCOT?! WHY ARE WE USING THIS OUTFIT TO DISGUISE OURSELVES?!"

" Calm down Pattsuan... At least we'll look less suspicious in these."

" THIS CAN'T BE ANYTHING _BUT_ SUSPICIOUS! ITS DAYLIGHT MURDER! WHAT DO WE DO IF WE ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF THE POLICE BECAUSE OF THIS OUTFIT?! DO YOU WANT TO GET THROWN IN JAIL?! DO YOU WANT YOUR HEAD TO GET CHOPPED OFF?! DO YOU WAN'T TO DIE?!"

" What is done is done, Megane. We will look suspicious now if we leave without doing anything now, yes?" Kagura said, pointing out that they were actually already at Takasugi's house.

" AND NOW WE MAGICALLY TRANSPORTED TO THE DOORSTEP OF HELLLLLLLLLL!"

" Well, here goes nothing." Gintoki said as he knocked the door.

_Its all over. We're dead. We're absolutely dead._ Shinpachi thought.

Seconds later, the door opened to reveal a figure wearing a purple kimono and a black haori. It was smoking a pipe and its left eye was bandaged. The figure looked up at the supposed 'mascot' and Gintoki swore he could see Takasugi's eye twitch before he received a reply.

" Since when has this place become a costume party?" Takasugi said. Not a question, more like to inform how annoyed he was with the 'mascot' standing infront of him. If this 'mascot' was trying to hide a daylight crime, it was doing the worst job he could ever think of. It would have been a good day if he hadn't seen a half-man half-horse standing infront of his doorstep. And the difference in height also began to draw his temper.

Gintoki never thought he would see Takasugi in a place like this. Especially not in this situation. He was armless, without his Bokuto. And from what he could see, Takasugi was hiding a sword under his haori. It would be a difficult feat to trick Takasugi, but he decided to do it anyway since doing it or not doing it would be the same; he'll still get killed.

" This is the Yoro- I mean, hercules brothers. We're handing out pamphlets for the festival." Gintoki said while voice-acting. And a terrible one at that.

_" Gin-san, that was the worst voice acting you could have done! And why 'hercules brothers'?! Kagura-chan is a girl no matter how you look at it!"_ Shinpachi whispered from under the costume.

_" Shut up, Pattsuan! We'll get found out if you break the disguise because of your straigh-man comments! And don't worry, Kagura has a boy's soul!"_

_" We're pretty much found out right now! And this has nothing to do with her boy-ish soul!"_

_" Then Megane's soul is Megane-ish, yes?"_

_" WHY ARE YOU TALKING TOO?!"_

Takasugi took the paper from Gintoki's hands and closed the door. Before the door closed shut, he gave the 'mascot' a glare. " Piece of advise: Burn that corpse, sink that weapon along with evidence into the ocean and make up a fake alibi for your accomplice."

Gintoki, Shinpachi and Kagura could only stay quite as they heard the door shut close.

" UM, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!"

**-O-**

After they got out of their costume, they split up their work like before. Shinpachi still wondered how the hell could they have fooled the leader of the most dangerous terrorist group in the universe. And that supposed 'leader' actually believed that they did a daylight murder. This was crazy. Absolutely crazy.

" So, 56-74 will be done by Gin-san. 75-93 will be done by Kagura. And 93-112 will be done by Pattsuan." Gintoki explained.

They all took the copy of the list that Shinpachi made and began to read through. They devided the pamphlets equally and was ready to go, until Kagura noticed something on her list.

" Gin-chan, no. 75 has a weird name, uh-huh."

Gintoki walked to Kagura. " What? It isn't some unexpected antagonists showing up in the town is it?"

Gintoki's mouth fell agape.

_75. Gaara of the Dessert_

" THERE'S SOME UNEXPECTED NAMES SHOWING UP ON THE WRONG SERIEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"

" What is Gaara of the Dessert? Does he like to eat desserts?" Kagura bluntly asked.

" NO HE DOESN'T! DON'T MAKE UP A JOKE ABOUT THE CHARACTER OF A MEGA-HIT MANGA! WHY IS HIS NAME EVEN HERE ANYWAY?! THIS IS A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF COPYRIGHT!"

" No, wait, Gin-san. I think it goes like this."

N*ruto character role: Gaara  
l  
Voice actor: Ish*da *kira  
l  
Gintama character role: Katsura Kotarou

" Ah, I get it. So its Zura- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THAT, YOU IDIOT?! THAT'S TOO COMPLICATED! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GUY DOING?! WHY IS HE DRAGGING ISH*DA-SAN INTO THIS IDIOTIC NONSENSE?!"

" Ah, Gintoki. Rare to meet you here."

The trio faced the source of the voice that just came to see Katsura standing alongside Elizabeth. The only difference was -or the most obvious one- Katsura was in a Neji cosplay, while Elizabeth was in a Hinata cosplay. Which was the most unconvincing cosplay that anyone could have ever saw.

" THE HELL ARE YOU DOINGGGGGGGG?! THAT'S A DIFFERENT CHARACTER, FOOL! HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW N*RUTO ANYWAY?! JUST HOW MUCH TV DO YOU WATCH, DAMMIT?!" Gintoki said as he landed a kick on Katsura's face.

" Its not a fool, its Kasuneji, Dayo!"

" WHAT IN THE WORLD 'DAYO'?! DON'T JUST LEISURELY PICK UP LINES FROM A FAMOUS MANGA! "

Kagura walked up to then and stared at Zura's supposed 'disguise'." Zura, what are you wearing? Why are your eyes white? Are you a corpse? Did you finally get killed by Mayora?"

" Its not Zura, its Katsuneji. I'm hiding myself from the police. Sometimes, even Jouishishis needs to take breaks. I made these disguises to fool the police." He explained.

" You stand out like a sour thumb though." Shinpachi deadpanned.

Katsura adverted his gaze to Gintoki. " Say Gintoki, do you know what Takasugi's been up to recently? I had reports from my men that he hasn't been seen in the Kihetai since last week. Do you happen to know anything?"

Shinpachi and Gintoki sweatdropped at Katsura's words. They actually just met the so called leader of the Kihetai in the abnormal circumstances of handing out pamphlets. And they even got some advice on how to hide a murder from him. No, actually, how they could actually fool him was abnormal in every way.

" Well, more or less." Gintoki replied.

Katsura raised his eyebrows. " More or less?"

" Well, I kind of know what is happening. But at the same time, I don't know as well. I'm stuck in the middle actually. Like Choji being stuck in a toilet closet kind of situation." Gintoki replied again.

" Gin-san, I'm quite sure Choji-san doesn't get stuck in the toilet. And what is with all the N*ruto references? We're turning into a completely different anime." Shinpachi deadpanned.

Katsura sighed. " Well, I'll look out for anything else. Say.. What are you doing exactly? Why are you carrying those pamphlets?"

Kagura only remembered their work after Zura had said it and gave one of the pamphlets to Zura. " A festival? Takasugi also got us in a festival last time.."

Gintoki scratched his head. " You're Takasugi-ing this up too much, Zura. What? Do you want to be as short as a yakult bottle like him?"

" Its not Zura, its Katsuneji. The Kihetai is a very dangerous group. You won't know what they would be planning next. Isn't that right, Hinazabeth?" Katsura looked to his side to find that Elizabeth disappeared.

" Hinazabeth?"

He looked left and right and saw that Elizabeth was signing signatures to some fanboys who actually thought his 'costume' was cute. Idiots. Total, complete idiots." WAIT! DON'T LAY A HAND ON HINAZABETH! HINAZABEEEEEEEEETH!"

**-O-**

And so they finally finished the work at six in the afternoon after waisting a complete hour on two idiot terrorists. It didn't really take long due to their relationship to the people in Kabukichou, especially Gintoki. But Kagura did do some 'door bashing' and Gintoki swore he could hear someone screaming about not having permission to bash someone's door open and reporting a certain girl to her parents some blocks away, which he decided to ignore for the safety of his wallet.

They wen't to snack smile to fill in their report of the job to Otae. Otae was talking with the other cabaret girls as the trio came in. Otae noticed them and quickly walked up to the three.

" So how did it go? Did everyone get the pamphlet?" She asked.

Kagura raised a thumbs up. " We did it all, Anego!"

" Good job, Kagura-chan. I'll buy you some Sukonbu tomorrow." Otae said as she patted Kagura's head.

" Oy. I did it too, you know. What is with this unfairness? Am I unneeded? Should I jump off a cliff and die?" Gintoki deadpanned.

Just right after that sentence, a man came crashing into Gintoki from above. Gintoki was supposedly flattened by the man's weight and fell on the floor, cracking it in the process. Shinpachi and Kagura blinked once as they saw the man that just fell on top of their leader.

" Ara ara.. What do we have here?" Otae said with a smile.

The figure stood back up while rubbing its head, which was covered in blood. A brown perm similar to that of Gintoki's, sunglasses, and an awfully familiar laugh.

" AHAHAHAHA! Hows it going, Kintoki?"

.

.

" ' HOWS IT GOING' MY ASSSSSSSSSSS!" Gintoki said as he kicked Sakamoto right into the stomach.

Gintoki grabbed Sakamoto by the collar as veins popped out of his head. " Where did you come from? What are you doing here? Didn't your parents tell you that crashing into a person when you've just met is strictly prohibited?"

" AHAHAHA! I'm not really the kind of person who obeys rules, so thats not gonna do it for me!"

" That isn't the point! Why did an idiot have to come flying at me in the most unexpected time?! What kind of luck do you have, bastard? The main character is supposed to be the lucky one. Minor characters should just stay on their ship and appear _only_ in the openings and endings."

" AHAHAHA! I was just hitting on Oryou-chan and she also hit at me till I was sent flying! Man, love sure does do the impossible!"

" THAT'S A DIFFERENT KIND OF 'HIT', ISN'T IT?!"

" Wait wait Gin-san. This isn't the time for that. All of us are tired out. We don't have time for this. We should be getting some sleep." Shinpachi said as he tried to get in between the two men.

" Well I sure can't feel tired around this guy! Don't just think you can get a girl because she was your girl before, fool. Don't think confessing your love is easier in the anime than in real life. I'll throw you down the staircase and make you sleep for eternity." He said as he dragged Sakamoto to the staircase.

" HE JUST FINISHED FALLING TO THE GROUND! IF HE TAKES ANOTHER FALL, HE'LL SERIOUSLY DIE! AND ISN'T IT SUPPOSED TO BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND?!"

Otae smiled. " Ah, then we'll be sure to make a higher staircase in the upcoming renovation."

" YOU'RE AGREEING WITH HIIIIIIIIIIIIIM?!"

**-O-**

Back at the Shinsengumi base, the tax robbers were having a meeting, directed by Kondo. It would have gone good without any harm if the other members would have stopped talking and didn't make Hijikata blow them with a bazooka again (Fortunately, Okita already learned his lesson and got out of the way when Hijikata took the Bazooka in his hands). After the bazooka was fired off, the meeting wen't as normal as every other.

" Eh? There are rumors that Takasugi has come to Edo again?"

Hijikata nodded. " Well, there are only rumors and we don't have a good source. But we have to take on anything we have if we're talking about him."

" He got us good on the festival. We don't want that to happen again. So every member is to be on the lookout for any suspicious people that might be the Kihetai leader." Kondou anounced.

" Kondou-san, you're way off the timeline." Hijikata deadpanned.

Okita shrugged. " Speaking of festivals.. I heard there's going to be one in Kabukichou. I saw Danna giving out pamphlets today. Could Takasugi be plotting to use the festival as one of his plans again?"

Hijikata folded his arms. " It seems less likely that he would be plotting the same plan. He's not really the one to go out if he knew he would fail. Besides, even if he does decide on a plan, the other bastard wouldn't stay quite about it."

" So Hijikata-san~ you think that people won't go for the same plan if they experienced loss on the so called plan in the past? Then I'll be sure to use that against you."

" Sougo, shut up."

* * *

**-O-**

* * *

* The Shinsengumi mascot... A fabulous mascot that has been in-charge of being the Shinengumi's mascot ever since that miraculous episode... Yeah, reference to episode 56.

* Gaara, Neji, Hinata and Choji are all characters from N*ruto. Choji especially, is fat-err.. Chubby.

* Oryou is the wife of the real-life Sakamoto, Sakamoto Ryoma.


End file.
